Where We Kill Touma and Mechas Abound
by Eike and Mai
Summary: Another sillyfic. Do we ever write anything else? A Power Rangers parody. Sillyfic, yaoi hints, deaths.... nobody important though.


Send comments, flames, praise, etc. to yhibiki@hotmail.com and komagata_mai@hotmail.com  
  
  
  
1 Gravitation Story – Where We Kill Touma and Mechas Abound  
  
By Eike and Mai  
  
Pairing: Yuki x Shuuichi, Tachi x Ma-kun  
  
There is something you don't know about the cast of Gravitation. Secretly, they are none other than – The Power Rangers! They sing by night and fight evil by day. They have nifty, colorful mechas that transform into one giant mecha –Pandarobo! Besides that, they have sex every once in a while (ok, every night). Nakano Hiroshi, their leader, commands the red guitar megazord. Yuki Eiri, the blue ranger, is their tactical advisor, with a laptop megazord. Next, is Fujisaki Suguru, dons a yellow outfit (complete with miniskirt!) and drives the yellow Korg T2 keyboard robot. Then comes Sakuma Ryuuichi, with a green Kumagorou-shaped mecha. Lastly, there is the pink ranger, Shindou Shuuichi, with his banana-shaped mecha (in a Barbie pink color too!) and a miniskirt as well.  
  
Well, who is it that they are fighting, you ask? None other than Seguchi Touma, the evil, twisted, conniving overlord who wants to take over the world by brainwashing people with pop songs (no, this isn't a rip-off from 'Pinky and the Brain'…). His two underlings are Aizawa Tachi and Ma-kun (does he have a complete name? Help appreciated). They tend to kiss a lot. It disturbs evil plots.  
  
It was a pleasant morning in Tokyo (although not for long). Yuki fed strawberries to his one true love (insert love bubbles) while Shuuichi licked at his fingers and made little moaning noises. Just then, their little beeper went off – beep beep beep! Yuki cussed at it and threw it in the trash, ignoring their problems in favor of strawberries. BEEP BEEP BEEP! He growled at it, and stomped from the room with Shuuichi in tow.  
  
"Ne, Yuki, shouldn't we answer that?"  
  
"Do you want to sleep on the couch?"  
  
"No…."  
  
"Then no, we shouldn't."  
  
In the bedroom, they continued to feed each other, although they forgot the strawberries on the couch.  
  
SUDDENLY! A minion of evil burst through the walls and cackled at the mostly naked Yuki and Shuuichi. Needless to say, Yuki Eiri was not pleased. He was ready to kill the demon with his bare hands, when people in colorful outfits came rushing into the room. They were the POWER RANGERS! Yes, the green, red, and yellow rangers were here to save the day!  
  
"Shuuichi! Are you okay, na no da?" The green ranger asked. Shuuichi was just a little bit embarrassed at being caught naked, about to have sex, but you know, they were all friends, so it didn't matter. Well, it didn't matter to Shuu. Yuki, on the other hand…  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?" Nobody noticed him though. He wasn't important anymore.  
  
"We have to defeat the evil minion!" The red ranger informed them. "Transform now!"  
  
Shuuichi did that little nod thingy. He held out his morphing device and yelled "Pink Banana Power!" Yuki sweat-dropped, then glanced at Hi… erm, the Red Ranger.  
  
"Do I have to?"  
  
The red ranger nodded. Meanwhile, the minion was playing a very entertaining game of Go with the yellow ranger. No fighting was allowed until all transformation/loading sequences were over.  
  
"Blue Laptop Power." Yuki said in a deadpan voice. A blue light surrounded him, and he came out wearing a blue ranger costume. Shuuichi was the pink ranger. We know that already. Now it was finally time to fight!  
  
They fight! It was just a wimpy little minion, so after several kicks and cheap special effects, it was defeated. Victory!  
  
The pink ranger was bouncing around in his little skirt, making random noises about how cool they were, to have defeated the minion so quickly. Yuki was making not so random noises about the minion's bad timing.  
  
"I want to see K right now and demand better working hours!" Yuki exclaimed. "Also, I want a new wall. I already have to pay whenever Shuuichi breaks them, I refuse to have anything to do with these evil beings."  
  
So they teleported to their little secret lab in the outskirts of Tokyo. There, K was trapped in a glass tube, forever cursed to stay there, for the moment the tube broke he would die. He can't breathe air or something like that. Of course, he can leave whenever he needs to be Bad Luck's manager, but that's another story.  
  
"K!" Yuki yelled in anger. "Another one of your stupid evil minions broke my wall! I DEMAND PAYMENT!" The other Power Rangers looked at their feet in embarrassment. How could Yuki be so inconsiderate of the plight of innocent people?  
  
K, in his little tube, looked shocked. "K? No, I'm Klaude! And you're a fighter for love and peace! You don't get paid! That's why you need side jobs!"  
  
"Fighter for love? I can't get any loving anymore… especially not without a wall…" Yuki muttered under his breath.  
  
"Anyway!" Hiro said, trying to break the tension. "What's going on? Why are there more attacks now? I mean, that's the third one this week that has burst through Yuki-san's walls."  
  
"BIG NEWS! Seguchi Touma is in love with some romance author, identity unknown, and he's been trying to brainwash people into killing his rival in love. Plus, he's the head of NG studios!"  
  
Saka-No (a.k.a. little robot) started making little "ayiyiyiyyiyiyiyiyi" noises. "We've got trouble guys! There's an attack at the NG studios!"  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, at NG Studios, Uesugi Tatsuha and Uesugi Ayaka were getting ready to find out who the Power Rangers were. It was their obsession, along with Sakuma Ryuuichi and Yuki Eiri, respectively.  
  
"So, how are we going to do it this time?" Ayaka asked. She was a bit skeptical, because this was the 69th time they were attempting a plot to reveal the Power Rangers. Tatsuha was never deterred though, and as his loyal follower (in this cause), she continued their pursuit.  
  
Tatsuha's eyes lit up. "It's very simple! When the Power Rangers show up to save Tokyo from a baddy, we'll record their voices, and then play it back so often that we can identify them!" This was a Very Brilliant Plan™, of course, but because nobody may know about the Power Rangers' identity, it will fail.  
  
Just then, the ceiling came crashing down around them. They screamed in fear, as cowards are wont to do. Thankfully, the Power Rangers showed up just then.  
  
"Shuuichi! You and Yuki take the top floors, Fujisaki and Sakuma take the bottom floors, and I'll make sure Ayaka-chan is safe!" The Red Ranger exclaimed. They all nodded and went off in different directions.  
  
Now, you may ask yourselves, does Tatsuha, being the huge Sakuma Ryuuichi fan he is, and just a generally bright young person, put two and two together and figure out that the Green Ranger must be Sakuma Ryuuichi? The answer is no, obviously.  
  
  
  
Now, zoom in on Seguchi Touma at the top of the NG Studios building. He rapped his fingers against each other in a very evil-esque manner (much like Montgomery Burns). He was doing this because he was very happy with his evil plot thus far, which consisted of blowing up his own building to kill Shindou Shuuichi. Mika was causing trouble for anybody on the ground floor, and Tachi and Ma-kun would take care of him up here.  
  
"Tachi! Ma-kun! Those despicable Power Rangers are coming this way!"  
  
Tachi and Ma-kun were making their way to the nearest closet while pulling at each other's clothes, so they didn't hear him.  
  
This was when the Pink and the Blue Ranger burst through the doors. They see Ma-kun and Tachi, and get a little hot and bothered themselves, so they start groping each other through their skin-tight clothing.  
  
"A-HEM!"  
  
Pink and Blue ignore him for a while, until his rude coughs get too loud to ignore, and Yuki pushes Shuu off of him and turns to Seguchi in disgust.  
  
"I'm going to destroy you Power Rangers, brainwash the public, and FINALLY get some lovin' with Yuki Eiri!"  
  
If Seguchi had known that Yuki Eiri was secretly the Blue Ranger, he probably would not have said that. Well, now he DID know, because Yuki pulled off his helmet to start doing more naughty things with Shuuichi. Touma is red with rage. And other things.  
  
  
  
At another place and time -- well, actually, at the same time, and at almost the same place (i.e. NG Studios, several floors down) – the Green and Yellow Rangers were fighting the evil Seguchi Mika. She used her ultra- powerful bitch slaps against them, so Ryuu-chan was feeling a bit dazed, and Suguru had several handprints on his person.  
  
Luckily for them, the Red Ranger was done "saving" Ayaka-chan (and Tatsuha…), so he was here to save them! He pulled out his special weapon, a musical laser gun. (It plays songs like "Rage Beat," "Glaring One Way," and "Blind Game Again," all performed by that new hit band, Bad Luck.) He shot Mika. She started losing horribly, so she called for Touma's help on her new Nokia cell phone. Touma heard her plight, and made her grow biiiiiiig~! And he cackled evilly.  
  
Because Mika was now a huge bitch-slapping woman on the rampage, the Power Rangers had to call their mechas! The mechas, having heard the call, flew in from Africa, where they were taking a nice relaxing vacation in the savannas. The robots, although rather pissed at having their vacation disrupted, accepted their owners into their cockpits. They got ready to engage in battle.  
  
"Hiro, my mecha looks silly!" Suguru complained. But nobody cared, since all the mechas looked silly. Especially the pink banana.  
  
This is where more cheap special effects and fighting sequences take place. A punch, a blow, a dodge, a kick…. Mika had the upper hand in the speed/agility department, and thus was beating the crap out of them.  
  
"Team, we need to combine! Quick, put the keys into the slots!" So at exactly the same time, they all put the keys in, and their mechas merged into Pandarobo through a series of strange mutations that are unexplainable.  
  
The team was strong now, invincible even. They were able to dispose of Mika with one quick swing of the fierce panda claw.  
  
They congratulated themselves, and while Pandarobo was doing a victory dance, it squashed Seguchi Touma (who had been trying to escape) under one of its feet. This was the bloody end of Seguchi Touma. Yay!  
  
  
  
Epilogue:  
  
Yuki sat on the couch with Shuuichi curled up next to him, watching the newscaster.  
  
"In recent events, Seguchi Touma, head of NG Studios and former Nittle Grasper member, was found squashed to a bloody pulp in front of the NG Studios building. Or, where the building once was, as that too has been destroyed. In other news, two men bearing resemblance to ASK members Aizawa Tachi and 'Ma-kun' were found in a passionate 'embrace' near the ruins. More footage to come…"  
  
Shuuichi embraced Yuki, "Ne, Yuki~ D'you remember what we started yesterday? With the strawberries?"  
  
  
  
Moral 1: Yuki needs stronger walls.  
  
Moral 2: Strawberries are good. Closets are good. 


End file.
